Her, Rains and bundles of nostalgia.

Before I start typing these 'precious' little words out of  my pretty little laptop, I would like to tell you that I cried buckets and buckets today. The last time I cried like this was when I was around 14 when, Stallion, a pretty little jet-raven colored street puppy who wandered near my house and whom I loved and adored till death, was crushed to death when she was around 2 months old by a speeding jeep. And when I sit down to cry, that crying isn't just for the event that has made me weep. I literally sit in my room, head ducked between my knees and recall every trivial sad detail about my past experiences and the things that deeply affected me. It's a bloody awful habit if you ask me. But it also gives me this incredible let-out, a brilliant catharsis. Getting pack to the point, why I cried.

I watched Her today. A wonderful romantic science-fiction heart-stopping film. And words fail me to describe how beautifully crafted that film was. There wasn't a single second where I felt unconnected. Here's this dialogue that Amy Adams says to Joaquin Phoenix which pretty much explains the kind of person I am.

And there's one more line that Theodore says. It's heart-breaking and nostalgic and just...
                                                       

     And also I feel like marrying Scarlett Johansson's incredibly wonderful voice. I loved the conversations between Samantha and Theodore.  They make you question about the world and mostly about human existence.The ending scene where Amy Adams and Joaquin Phoenix sit on the roof and watch the sun rise, sent a ripple through my veins. But the thing that really moved me was,  THE MOON SONG. This song, is so hauntingly beautiful. Karen O's voice! God. It evoked almost everything in me.
                  Days like these are so rare. Days like these make you question about what significance you have in this hugely ginormous world. Whether or not you are gonna get crushed like an ant in the world that fails to  stop functioning. Days like these make you wander off to a very dreamy sleep. And on days like these, when you wake up from that 'very-dreamy' sleep to make yourself a cup of tea, your nostrils are intoxicated with the smell of wet earth and your feet somehow lead you to the window and your heart skips a beat to watch the rain pour heavily on the roof.
         You can cry and then feel better about life. On days like these you can give your shoulders a break for carrying the weight of your hugely pregnant brain that constantly brims with tension and hustle-bustle. On days like these you just sit back and wonder while your heart swells up with a million unanswered questions.                         

When you think way too much.

It's 10 am . I stand up straight, my legs dangle out from my bed. My slumber saying, "WHAT?! get back down here! are you out of your mind! don't you want to complete your dream? pull that sheet over your face, and wander off to sleep, will you?"

But somehow, I don't listen to her. She gets over my nerves at times. She has the ability to show every kind of mood. Demeaning. Stringy. Earthy. Vulnerable - are just some of them. I don't know why, insomnia hits the strongest of sound sleepers ( here,I mean me).

Today, however it wasn't insomnia. Maybe I woke up because of the smell of burning eggs coming from my neighbor's house. Or wait? was that Himesh Reshamiya playing next door? can't really figure out. I can't shut my eyelids before 1 am and I longe to open them before 5 am.
So, I got up at two, sipped some water, read veronika decides to die. Thought about it. Thought about it & again thought about it. 9gagged. Ate Jubilee's macaroons. Climbed back to bed. Watched 'A Haunting'. Shrieked a bit. Woke up mum, got a good glare. Switched off  t.v, and tried to sleep.

And then laying in bed I thought about yesterday's swimming class, and gave some self-assurance that I won't drown in the deep. Then about going bald. A great idea! chopping off your hair. Feels impulsive, extreme and  strong. Then about how it would feel to have big bold kohl-smeared eyes (because, my eyes defy all laws of chinkyness). I LOVE big  eyes. They are the best assets anyone can ever possess. Then about Haruki Murakami's Norwegian Wood. Flipkart's getting me the book by Monday and I am dying to begin it.
South Africa. Afghanistan. Cheetahs. Niagara Falls. Kakori Kebabs(!). Hummed 'I am highway' by Audioslave (wonderful song!). Then  wondered what I would do if ever joined armed forces.(Wicked!). Learn to shoot. Stroke a stallion. Breathe in mogra flowers. Thought what was the last time when tears pricked down my eyes. The way how my tongue tasted saltiness. The last time I smiled at a stranger.

How wonderful it would be if it rained for a couple of days? I could really use some good weather and scream while getting wet. Rain gods? are you listening?

The panacea of my problems.
And then out of nowhere. My eyes started shrinking. Lips pursing. Rhythmic pulse-beats. Then it was just me. Me and  light howling of the cooler.
The room filled with tranquility.  My mind went blank. Bright visuals emerging under my closed eyelids. I let go.
Then came Black. Pure, Unadultrated, Jet Black.
And I dozed off.
Sleep had finally found me. It had embraced me with her gentle hands.